Rilke in the Garden: The Pollen Path

In my early 20's I shared a bit of good news with my mother-in-law.  In her brief reply I learned a life lesson, to share my joy is to diminish it.  Within her reply, realization, there had always been others  taking pleasure in diminishing joy.
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Worse than having an empty quiver, I had no quiver at all.  With that sharing I commenced, without awareness for years, building my quiver, and a delightful array of arrows.
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Entering into garden making, for myself, became freedom.  Gardening is the working of mind & body, while the heart works in grace seemingly untended, yet wildly abundant.  Decades passed before the simplest epiphany of all, Life began in a garden.
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One of the best arrows discovered?  To share my sorrow, with my garden, is to diminish it.  List of my best arrows could form a book, but that's not where I'm going today.  Found a bit of Rilke yesterday, "Sadness is life holding you in its hands and changing you."  More fully, "Loneliness is just space expanding around you.  Trust uncertainty.  Sadness is life holding you in its hands and changing you.  Make solitude your home."  


Pic, above, here.
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Ah, uncertainty.  Trust uncertainty?  Moving from my garden of 3 decades, my best friend, replaced with the 'feeling' of uncertainty, yet my bow cutting thru uncharted waters without fear, knowing this chapter, Not Gardening, is a gift, and I must be in thanks, pay attention to its lessons.  Perhaps this new garden, around our ca. 1900 home, is holding me tighter than I could possibly know.  I will trust that.  An arrow, as a gift, from my 30 year garden.
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Discovering more Rilke,
  "I want to beg you, as much as I can, dear sir, to be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer."
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Ironically, Beloved, frustrated, asked, "What are you doing?  Where are you headed?"  Told him. "I trust where I am going, and trusting how I get there."  Further detail, ineffable.  That went over well, pure confidence in my path with zero words.  Him thinking I'm cavalier, yet me beyond earnest, trusting G*d.  Perhaps a little Ovid, "Take rest; a field that has rested gives a beautiful crop."  I am a resting field, knowing to veer, not trust, my beautiful crop will not ripen.  
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In early January, 2001, I put German artist Wolfgang Laib into my journal, his "Wolfgang Laib: A Retrospective" was touring USA.  He's well known for his beeswax corridors, and a photo of his 1997 beeswax corridor was included.  Ah, this must be the Pollen Path, Joseph Campbell spoke of with Bill Moyers.
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From the Navajo Pollen Path, "Oh beauty before me, beauty behind me, beauty to the right of me, beauty to the left of me, beauty above me, beauty below me, I am on the Pollen Path.  In the house of life I wander, On the pollen path."
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"Mr. Laib sees salvation in what is most fragile and fugitive.", NYTimes, Amei Wallach.  More, "A growing number of scholars, critics, museums and foundations have been focusing on the relationship between artists and immanence in part to understand why they so often come into confilict with politicians and established religious institutions."

 
Pic, above, here.
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Further, about doubt, from Rilke,
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 "Your doubt may become a good quality if you train it. It must become knowing, it must become critical. Ask it, whenever it wants to spoil something for you, why something is ugly, demand proofs from it, test it, and you will find it perplexed and embarrassed perhaps, or perhaps rebellious. But don’t give in, insist on arguments and act this way, watchful and consistent, every single time, and the day will arrive when from a destroyer it will become one of your best workers — perhaps the cleverest of all that are building at your life."

 
Pic, above. here.
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Whew.  That is a sharp pointed arrow for the quiver, feels like a dagger aimed inward, at times.  Don't be afraid, trust the Pollen Path.  An arrow well used, and greatly shared, since having its epiphany, "What would I do tomorrow if I were not afraid?"  Every solution before the question, fear based.  After asking the question, though fear remains, myriad answers arrive, none fear based.  Those answers are along the Pollen Path.  
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Had zero clue, Not Gardening, would be a rich zone, merely thought it would be something to grin/bear.  Instead, the tiny amount of garden already here, several century old pecan trees are sprinkled as nurturing baguas.  Old souls, understanding the Pollen Path.  Their yield as dependent upon it as mine.
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Garden & Be Well,   XO T
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House & land renovations ahead of planting the first fruit tree, potager, pleasure garden, woodland walk, shrubbery, etc.  Thought this spring would be planting, now it seems fall.  I will trust that, endure, and pay close attention along the Pollen Path.  How precise G*d takes care in lessons for me.  Not Gardening is a chapter.