Lunch: A Great Divorce Story

A client from years ago recently hired me again.  A Southern matriarch forever stretching the bounds of goodness, she made the decision, after widowhood, to downsize and move closer to children/grandchildren.
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There is a template of living in her realm, in addition to goodness.  Hospitality and courtesy.  Elegance & comfort too, she's an interior decorator.  Unpleasantness is not ignored, merely hit head on with clear eyes, thinking, action, moving forward to joy.
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Community activist, one charitable group she formed, decades ago, has raised significant funds, all plowed back into her community.  Book club, bible study group, & more......she's active



Of course our Garden Design work begins with lunch in the sunroom overlooking the garden.  Homemade chicken salad over lettuce, designer chips, crisp saltines marinated overnite in Tabasco/red pepper flakes/powdered ranch dressing, and iced tea.
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Conversation.
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Life lessons arrive to each, I've been fortunate, having many arrive in exactly this manner.
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With a wicked smile she said, "Hope you don't mind I shared your divorce story with a friend."  She knew I wouldn't mind.  My story needs to be shared.  Victim of alcoholic excesses with 30 year spouse, blah-ti-boring-blah, it is the pivot from victim to survivor, which is a terrible location to be stuck too, to thriver, and how it was achieved that must be told.  But not here today.  I have a new story from her.
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Her friend, long married, had finally reached a court date for divorce.  Wealthy, her husband was armed with Atlanta's best lawyer, and she was about to tank financially.  An amazing choice was made, from the bible.  She chose 10 of her closest friends who knew she, and her soon to be divorced husband, long and well.  She wanted her best girlfriends to stand with her, in court, to give her strength & love, and more importantly, bear witness.
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As all of these ladies, matriarchs all, filed into the court room, to sit with their friend, and look her husband in the eyes, he was vanquished.  He became flushed, and fidgety.  A jury of his peers, indeed.  Hushed words with his lawyer.
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The divorce settled equitably that day.  No one was taken advantage of, no one harmed financially.
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This woman used precepts of her longtime bible study, her only ammunition, and Providence smiled.  She chose not to be afraid, and put her faith in G*d.      



If this were a tv movie of the week, the script would be stupid.
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Instead, passing along the story, is strength.  Victim hood is a choice.  Hope is not foolish.  Bearing witness is a tool.  Do not be afraid to ask for help.
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After lunch we had desert, vanilla ice cream with Hershey's chocolate, 2 little cubes of homemade brownies, and a large red ripe strawberry with dollop of chocolate on top.
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Then I designed her backyard, and left with a check.
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Love my job.
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Garden & Be Well,     XO Tara
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Top pic, Bassett Furniture, bottom pic Ralph Lauren.

Complete Garden Design Includes Lunch Inside?

Hired to design the garden, I was headed here, below, too.

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Aside from Garden Design beginning inside your home, every window of your home, looking into the garden, must be art on the wall.

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As those layers arrive, the best Garden Design layer appears.  

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Lunch Ministry.  

My job, Garden Design, includes creating so many incredible places to have lunch, inside your home, it's hard to choose.
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True in the garden too.  But that's obvious, and easy.  My game is bigger than that.
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Change your garden, change your life.
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With a client this week, we had lunch too.  Cold & wind outside, she chose lunch for us, in the sunbeams.
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Work came first, then we sat for lunch, the table already set with care, aka joy.  Deer chili, hot on the stove.  Both chairs had vistas of 3 different garden rooms.
 

I chose the chair with views of the courtyard, porch, potager.  That was my job.  Those views need more work than the others.

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I trust my job, talents, skills, experience, and livelihood, operating beyond left/right brain, in this arena.  What is this arena called?  Don't know.  I label it Lunch & Sparking for the 'work', Lunch Ministry from Providence in what it brings in layers of epiphany.

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Once here, this Lunch Ministry layer, I ask my clients to have non-gardening friends, or new friends, to lunch.  And, if they don't belong to a Garden Club, I ask them to join the closest, and host a yearly meeting.

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Why?  Expose more people to a garden lifestyle.

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More, if their life/time allow, I encourage terra cotta pots with topiaries, or whatever is easy, on a vintage ironstone plate, on the lunch table.  As the friend leaves, pass the plate/plant to them.

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Pass along gardening, from lunch ministry.

Big news at this lunch.  Their daughter was engaged new year's eve.  The daughter is an old soul and she/mom have a relationship closest to that of Anne Morrow Lindbergh, & her mom, that I've come across.

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Infertility has given me a strange wonderful gift.   I adore hearing/knowing the stories of success with friends/clients children.  I'm on the inner loop for many, getting emails about awards, promotions, etc..  You know, all the stuff considered bragging in the outer world.  But great pride, joy, relief, to their parents.  

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Garden & Be Well,    XO Tara

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Pics shot this week at jobsite.

Lunch Ministry, "...now it is a person's table that atones for him.” Talmud, Chagiga 27a

"This notion that we repent through our tables suggests that the table not only be a place to eat and gather with friends and family but a place where repair is performed. We think about where we have fallen short and how we can make up for it by the way we treat others who we bring close to us, close enough to speak to across a table."

From my 20's I have been mentored into Lunch Ministry.

Women, mostly in their 70's, inviting me to lunch.  Women my age could not come out to play, they had babies/children.  Me?  Infertility.

Tables beautifully set, dishes/cloth napkins/silver/platters/center piece, a meal carefully chosen and lovingly made.

 Conversation.  Topics never ceasing, laughter, silence, time became obsolete, something for mortals, not our lunch table.

Never was a dish allowed to be cleared.  Time together was the focus.  Their lessons in Lunch Ministry, though many of those dear ladies are gone, continue.  Me, now, the lady-of-age.  Passing forward the gift, Lunch Ministry.

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Never mentioned at the time, I know now the best part of Lunch Ministry.   Once my guest has left, the lone clearing of table, cleaning dishes at the sink.  Musing over conversation, harboring myriad directions of prayer.

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"If an altar is like the Divine's table then when there is no altar our tables must serve in its place. "The verse began with 'altar' and ended with 'table,'" taught both Rabbi Yochanan and Reish Lakish. These were noted sparring partners, but there was something that the two agreed upon: this teaching."

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Garden & Be Well,    XO Tara
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Quotes from Jewish World Review article, here.
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Pics via my Pinterest board, Furniture in the Garden.  Second pic via Petersham Nurseries.

For a beautiful garden & home filling you with joy, become my client, local/on-line.

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Award winning speaker, hire me for your group, local/out-of-state.

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Books by Tara Dillard, Amazon

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Tara Dillard & Associates Design: farm to city pied-a-terre.

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Construction by Award Winning

Shaefer Heard Construction, licensed home-builder, renovation - new construction.  Heard's Landscaping a unit of SHC.  3 decades of service.

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NOTE to my gardening friends... look for changes to come. 

Knew before computers/cell phones, sitting in Atlanta traffic on way to a client, 'I must reach a larger audience with the same amount of effort.'   Soon after that epiphany I signed my CBS-TV, and, books contracts on the same day.

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Then I read an article in the NYTimes about something called 'blogging'.  Saved the article for a year before reading it.  Studied all the blogs they mentioned, hired a computer expert they quoted, and attended a blogging seminar.

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Blogging 2.0 has arrived, my knowledge is 1.0.  A believer in copying the best historic gardens across the globe it flows into every arena of life.  Watching Maria Killam grow her career/blog/life over the past 3 years made its impact.  Signed up  for a year's course with her blogging expert, Jon Morrow. 

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Changes will be slow, plodding is my adored method.  Pulling triggers here/there is spice in the mix.
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What do YOU want?

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Nothing is too small, too big, or too ego crushing to mention.

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Passion lies in sharing what has filled me to the depths of grace, joy & atonement, the best landscapes created over the last 2,000+ years.

Just so you know... 
 I  welcome your input.

The Little Terra Cotta Pot: Give it Away

Terra cotta pots.

Your secret weapon to bring inside.
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Plainly with patina and an herb, or geranium.  Perhaps a topiary.
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An old ironstone plate.
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Once you get good at this, have several.  Invite a young kindred spirit to lunch, someone you don't know well but would like to.
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As they are leaving, hand them the terra cotta pot & ironstone plate.
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Lunch Ministry.
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Garden & Be Well,    XO Tara
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Pic via Fanci Taste.
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If you want a beautiful garden & home filling you with joy, and causes you to tap the brake pedal, as you look in the rear view mirror heading out, become my client, local or on-line.

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Award winning speaker, hire me to speak to your group, local or out-of-state.

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Garden books by Tara Dillard, Amazon