Wednesday, March 6, 2019

Tabernacle of the Full Moon in the Garden

Last October, unaware the moon, I came awake about 2am.  A rumble was coming toward me from the north east.  Had been awaiting it, didn't want it, yet knew this rumble solely mine to partake.  With Beloved sound asleep beside me I had to get out of bed, and house, before that rumble arrived in fullness, in me.  Something to be gotten thru, alone. 
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Barely, I made it out of the house.  No shoes, no robe, merely a well worn white cotton Eileen West gown.  Summer had stretched into October.
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Out the back door, and purely it came, wailing, from the ages, this is no theatrical or piece of literature. 
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Thru our century old pecan trees, a harvest moon.  Coating all, including me.
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What's the big deal?

0ce4n-g0d:
“Halloween Night by Vitor Santos on 500px”
Pic, above, here.
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Mom was ill in Texas, many weeks spent caretaking her.  Home late September, Beloved went into hospital for 2 weeks.  Unknown causes, great pain, I was his sole advocate traipsing the medical maze, many nites sleeping at the hospital, getting home for clothes, mail, a bit of office, heading back to Beloved.
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Mom still upon her trajectory.  Toward what?  Dying, living another month, year?  Airline tickets already purchased, again, back to Texas.
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Beloved finally diagnosed, his last day in hospital.  Liver cancer, needs transplant.
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 The Moonlit Garden
Pic, above, here.
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Days after Beloved's diagnosis I had not yet cried.  Too much to do for mom, too much to discover/arrange for Beloved.
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 Gary Bunt | The Moonlit Garden: Some people do not listen Some people don't …
Pic, above, here.
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Finally, that rumble.  Amazing drama, receiving notice from the northeast, "Your tears are arriving."  Who knew by the light of the low hanging October moon, rescue & love, Providence, awaited in the garden?  More than the light of gloaming or chiaroscuro, both favorites, pure Mercury light fell onto meadow, house, trees, gravel, skin, gown.  The air was super charged with Mercury light.  Mercury light on tears that I had wiped away from my cheeks onto the backs of my hands.   

 The Athenaeum - Garden in the full moon (Henri Le Sidaner - )
Pic, above, here.
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Mercury light, aside from beautiful, having a weight with all it touched, and the weight measured in joy, peace, Providence present.

 Maxfield Parrish
Pic, above, here.
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Mom & Beloved beyond my control to cure, make whole, healthy.  Be present to what is given, take joy though I don't understand.  Trust God.

 "The Man in the Moon" by Maxfield Parrish (American: 1870 – 1966)
Pic, above, here.
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Our days are good, and with joy.   We pray, we love each other, we know life is real, good & bad.  Beloved's choice daily is life.  Awesome to watch, and partake with him.  Oddly, his health is good, and he's working.  The system for liver transplant is a template, he follows their orders.  It may be a year until transplant.  Until then, we live.  With joy, and thanks to Providence. 
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Don't understand hearing a rumble from the northeast, nor the necessity to run outside to wail, but I do know, it was written before I was born.       
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Garden & Be Well,   XO T
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Many years ago at my friend Ruth's funeral service the preacher mentioned, "Ruth's body was a tabernacle....."  Interesting.  Didn't quite know what he meant.  Yet, after running to set my wailing free, to the Hunter's moon, I realized Mercury light of any full moon is a tabernacle. 

13 comments:

Charlotte said...

A long time reader that adores your blog. Please know that you and your family will be in my prayers.

Karla said...

This faithful follower sends you love and light. Thank you for your words of inspiration. k

Karen said...

Life can be challenging at times...I hope all is well, as well as life can be when there is the difficulty of loved one's health in the mix.
Karen

CC said...

Tara, While I wish I had eloquent words as yours,please know my heart & prayers are with you, your Beloved and your Mother.

Sue Narlesky said...

My husband had a liver transplant on 8/17/18,while waiting for a liver he developed a small cancerous spot, had an ablation and they got it all and we went on waiting. Finally a liver match was made, as his kidneys started to fail, he was on dialysis but finally he got his liver and is making a full recovery. He is 70 yrs. old and UCLA Ronald Reagan Medical Center did not reject him. The Liver team there performs miracles every day. Don't despair, you will find the strength as you go along the journey. Prayers for you and your husband.

Betty Ann said...

Thank you fior this post and all you share. Be well.

emmachas said...

Such beautiful thoughts, Tara.


Prayers for those you love and also for you, the caretaker.

Vickie H. said...

Doesn't look like you entertain comments, but if you DO, just know I am praying for all of you....this is so much....Somehow you will be given all the strength & hopefully, he will be given a donor, SOON! God bless and keep you each and every moment, and your mother and your great love.

Mary said...

Your Beloved will be in my thoughts and prayers. . . . . . as will your mom.
Be strong and love them while you can - they need you now and I know are lucky to have you as a caring person help them through these rough times.

mona gabriel said...

Oh Tara...
so much on your plate...no words, but sending a gentle hug your way.
Love, Mona

Kathy said...

Tara, You are going thru such a terrible hard time. You and your loved ones are in my thoughts and prayers.
xx

maryland said...

Bless you, dear. It is good to see the beauty. Please keep writing, you help others.
Mary in Maryland.

Kathy said...

Tara, You and your loved ones are in my thoughts and prayers 💕🙏